Dear pitcher, do you struggle to make yourself feel approachable? Or, are you finding it hard to build influence without breaking a sweat? That’why I want to draw your attention to some common (but powerful) courtesies that attract admiration you might have missed.
I call them common because they look so inconsequential. You could even pass them off as demeaning, but they carry frequencies too powerful to miss.
If you can only add these courtesies to your daily doze, you’ll be well on your way to building a solid influence people will admire. Also, they will help in building yourself to become the best you can be for your business or brand.
Even if right now, you have no business or brand to show, adding these courtesies to your daily lifestyle can increase the admiration you gain from others by a whopping 30%.
These actions might be something you’re doing presently while a few might be things you’ll be hearing for the first time.
Either ways, my goal is to do the following:
- Remind you of things you might have forgotten
- Refer you to things you might have missed
- Cause you to realise the power in each courteous action
Without further ado, let’s get into them. Happpy reading pitcher!
Here is a table of content to allow for easy navigation to the courteous action that interests you most.
- Top on the list on courtesies that attract admiration: When having a conversation, give your partner the right to their privacy
- Another courtesy is taking instant steps at correcting bad habits a great friend points out
- Be responsive to variety
- Ride your own waves
- Learn to say thank you… (for things others are in a more appropriate position to thank you for)
- Summarily on this blog letter
Top on the list on courtesies that attract admiration: When having a conversation, give your partner the right to their privacy
When you’re in a conversation with someone and they don’t provide explanation about something you expect them to buttress on (and I can give my website it has to be quite or extremely personal), don’t press for it.
Spoiler alert!!! I will probably not give the website. (hehehe)
But seriously, Do. Not.
If for example, a friend I met recently tells me over the phone that she’s out of town. If she does not provide info about her location (even when I subtly ask about her purpose for heading out of town), its already clear she does not want me knowing and it will be silly of me to push it.
Her reason for not wanting to divulge beyond the info she provided might be totally private to her and pressing for more enlightenment could put her in a tight spot or worse, put her off. This is an especially important principle utilized by many counsellors and it wouldn’t hurt to inculcate the habit in our daily relationships with people.
Respect all they wish to give initially, and you will be surprised at what they will be telling you in the future.
By doing this you gain their trust and they admire you the more. Subconsciously, we have all, one way or the other, made great friends using this method. Was it not surprising the first time your best friend allowed you entry to what she felt inside without you asking? I bet you dished them some “I adore your privacy” moment.
Come on, let’s give this curtesy the better credit it deserves. It never disappoints, you know.
Another courtesy is taking instant steps at correcting bad habits a great friend points out
This is because, it could have been a struggle for them to speak up
Boy, have we got alotta those habits, or what?
Thankfully, many of us get lucky enough (or wise enough) to surround ourselves with great buddies who can help fix things. But here is something you might not have considered.
Sometimes, its hard on that awesome friend of yours to throw the “fix this” badges around. She loves you dearly and don’t want to hurt your feelings.
Here’s an example of what I mean
When you hear them start with something like:
You know I admire you a lot Sharon. God has been doing cool things in you and you are like an inspiration to me personally. Last year, I can never forget the mountains you pulled to make sure I went to school. You know I never would have spoken unless you meant a great deal to me and I want the absolute best for you. Because of this, here’s where I think you can be better. Bla blab”
Mehnn… Those word came hard for them. Please, respect them.
I remember a sweet friend did something like that recently and when I immediately acted, she said this:
My respect for you grew to a higher dimension.”My friend
Start grabbing those easy points fast. You don’t have a moment to waste.
Be responsive to variety
No, I am not talking about your choice of food or sense of style. I am referring to perspectives.
Gosh, many people are so staunch to some odd perspectives and most times, it’s not because they go against what you believe or what you’ve tested to be 100% truth.
Check out this conversation between two dudes
The one-way traffic guy: Why do you have to readjust the curtain every time? It’s not as if people passing by the house are concerned about how the interior of the house looks like. (Hissing…)
The person on the other side: Well I care. What if they mistakenly look and catch me doing something inappropriate? Let’s just leave it down please.
The one-way traffic guy (especially if he is older or paying the bills): That’s not going to happen. Put that curtain up at once! Can’t you feel how stuffy it is in here?
In my opinion, any of these would have been a better response: “I’ll leave the room for you then” or, “alright, let’s put on the A.C or standing fan”.
But Mr. One-way traffic had to go right ahead to spray that pepper instead!
News flash! I was also almost as naughty as that before now, until I realised how uncool it was. Respect they say is reciprocal and what better way to earn it than showing it.
This is what variety should look like instead
Variety is phenomenal. It says very little and yet wins so much points and that’s why I believe it can be a peculiar ingredient for developing your business or brand.
Pull of that lying veil from your eyes! It isn’t until we are kissing the feet of that great man passing by before we really are showing respect.
The little things you do for that weakling next door, or under you, is what measures your regard for people more effectively. Watch out for those first, then stand bewiled as they loudly reciprocate your unspoken request.
Here’s an ideal example on this kind of courtesies that attract admiration
One of my favourite examples from the bible was when Jesus stopped below a sycamore tree amidst a packed crowd to give his attention to a short man who had climbed up to see him. This man’s name was Zacchaeus and he was popularly discredited before everyone because he stole from the less privileged.
But Jesus did not mind what others said. He saw the weakness in this dude and even stopped a whole look-a-like evangelistic crusade to go to his house.
Now that’s top-level consideration and love in action. Check out Zacchaeus’s response: the dude becomes Christ’s follower from that time onwards.
Talk of saying very little and yet gaining so much! Are you struggling with pitching your brand appropriately? Here is something you could maximally master and gather enough buyers / fan.
It looks so little yet, it can make major headlines
Ride your own waves
Ok, hold up a bit. This doesn’t look basic to me. Ride? Waves? Where is this coming from Sharon?
Don’t mind that approach. I only wanted to grab your attention. (wink) I’ll explain what I mean shortly, but before then, cozy in for a story.
A story example on this type of courtesies that attract admiration
Once upon a time, there was this beautiful girl who people like me would fondly call, and borrowing from chemistry, “paramagnetic”. She was so attractive many people, both men and women, wanted to get close to her.
Sincerely, she thrived in the attention and was so glad to mean something to them, until one day. Someone she considered a friend hurt her badly and she was terribly heartbroken. However, something surprising was that it wasn’t his action that broke her the most, it was hers.
Along the line, she got so carried away with trying to mean something in other people’s eyes that she didn’t realise when they began to have different perspectives about her. Surprisingly enough, none of these matched her identity so much that it looked like she never really existed. It hurt her to pieces that she had not been riding her own waves.
What did you get from this story? I’m almost positive it is what I’m thinking.
Your waves mean all the compartments of you, everything that endears you to us, everything that we should not screw up. If you’re not riding it, people will keep jeering your ship towards different directions and soon, you’ll be sure to divide into different irrecoverable pieces.
Application of this courtesy to your business
How does it apply to being courteous as regards your brand or business? Great Question!
I mean the one courtesy many of us overlook – courtesy towards ourselves.
How many times have you given yourself that deserving credit? How many times have you taken yourself out to lunch or bought yourself something nice?
Do you think you are doing yourself any good by comparing yourself with others? The letter my best friend wrote to me tells me I’m not wise by doing so. Have you been courteous toward yourself so far?
Learn to say thank you… (for things others are in a more appropriate position to thank you for)
I know, that sounds weird. Like, you should learn to do what??? Can I hear myself? (Hold that thought honey, I can).
Remember the five magic words you were taught in school. Kids even turned that to rhyme, and I bet you chanted a few times as well. “Thank you”, we were told is a magic word and saying it when someone does something cool for/to you is seen as a great attribute. But what if you could scoop it out when you do something for someone?
The phrase, “thank you”, is the magic word after all, not the instance that propels it.
I have caught myself a few times thanking someone for a service I rendered them. At other instances, people drew my attention to it because I did it unconsciously.
A man could not retract his surprise one day and asked why I was thanking him for a service I provided him. My response was a smile and I knew his admiration for me must have tipped to a higher level.
Trust me, offering your “thank you” when you should rather be at its receiving end is sure to increase admiration from others by far. Give yourself a chance to disperse this magic word in the most unconventional way and its sure to produce the most unconventional results.
PS: If you somehow have caught yourself spreading this pixie dust before now and you have felt different because people laughed at you, don’t. You’ve got a partner in this beautiful crime and we both know we won’t be repenting anytime soon.
Summarily on this blog letter
Your brand cannot thrive without it’s engine and that engine is you. Sometimes, the little things we overlook in life make the mightiest of impact and one of them could be common courteous actions.
Don’t leave any stone unturned in being your best for your business. The fruits might not seem to show up initially, but the final results will never lie.
What are your thoughts about this blog letter? Let me know. I’ll be thrilled to get a response to my letter as I know you would.
Until our next blog letter. Remain creative and attentive.
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